Hi, My Name is Bob

Bob: The streets were silent as the sunset on a city full of questions, fear, and hope… let us not forget hope. I took this time to reflect on my life to see the value it has had on the people I love and care about. People from my past have become distant memories but still lingering in the back of my thoughts about how their lives have turned out so far, but they too were now probably in the same mind frame psychologically as me.

I pondered on the memories of good times, the bad times.. the stupid shit I did. The lovers I have had. The ups, the downs, and of course, the everyday routines my life assimilated to now out of sync. Who was I to be in the story of life? An uncharted territory I was venturing into I thought. I had a keen eye on the here, the now, the present and had to refocus my energy on things I usually didn’t partake in to take my mind off of the trama that was happening globally.

Ah yes, the Neon City… she is dear to my heart as I have become accustomed to the rituals of the cities infrastructure. So From my balcony into the desolate of darkness once lit by an ever-glowing stream of light, I bellowed out “Just return to me. You are not forgotten,” but the response was to the silence as people were probably sound asleep or trying to take their own minds off of this evil, to wake in hopes of some positive news from the governing authorities.

I felt trapped as I went through mental cycles of the what if’s and the how come’s.

I started to ponder research. Yes, research into a learning state of thoughts I had as I put out the cigarette I shouldn’t have been smoking. I walked back into my apartment and looked around the room at these material items that surrounded me. Getting lost in the translation of what I become but curious to how these things that surrounded me were made and really wondering who made them and how I was connected to them by having this material they created. How could I be self-reliant I thought…

My wife was in her extreme cycle of cooking and cleaning and disinfecting the 1200 square foot apartment we had for the fifteenth time today so I went into my zone of maybe, just maybe my boredom was a symptom of me being brain lazy. In actuality, this social distancing didn’t have to be that psychologically damaging if you didn’t let it be. I had to get in a repetition of knowledge-based time to create a mental routine to keep me busy.

The first item I looked up was the light bulb… I know it sounds silly but I had to refresh my memory of its origin that already was in my memory bank. The reason I started with the light bulb was because of the decorative lamp holding it. To me, it was an eyesore but my wife loved it. I hollered at her from across the room.. her being in the kitchen and asked her, probably for the hundredth time where she got that thing and she told me it was from her college days from her dorm. I tried to look it up online but that thing was probably made by some students in a pottery class and a one of a kind.

The light bulb led me to a rabbit hole full of knowledge. Before I knew it an hour went by and I was reading about solar panels and solar energy and how to be efficient with your power source. I hollered at my wife as she was walking back and forth talking to herself… She was online studying one of her acting monologues from her favorite site Monologue Blogger. How she kept multitasking was amazing to me. I said, “Honey, we gotta get a solar-powered generator when we buy a house.”

Her response to me was to walk into the bedroom and shutting the bedroom door. A sign to not interrupt her when she was in deep concentration. I didn’t take offense as her cooking was a lot better than mine and the pasta sauce she had stewing on the stove smelled incredible throughout the whole apartment.

My thoughts from researching the lightbulb to solar energy took me to a place of encouragement and promise as the cases of this virus seemed to be getting out of control as an emergency alert chimed into my phone reinstating me to stay home while I was continuing my research.

The social distancing was aggravating and I really wanted to talk with someone about this solar stuff I was reading about so I thought why not connect with someone who knows about this stuff or does it for a living. 

I googled phrases in search of a forum and found one. I wasn’t really into making new contacts but said what the hell. I signed up and introduced myself: Hi my name is Bob.. and began asking questions and before I knew it responses started to come my way. It was a positive escape for me. I felt good about myself having learning and connecting to another about a specific topic. Time went by fast. I heard my wife hollar from the kitchen the pasta was done. She broke out a bottle of wine we have been saving for a special day and yelled at me to put the phone down and come eat. We said some grace and a prayer for all of mankind to find strength and dug our forks into a delicious dinner.

In conversation with my wife, I relayed what I was learning to give her the idea of being self-reliant, and then we started to pass ideas of the future and the things we would refocus on. A change may be in our lifestyles. I asked her if she would perform the monologue she was practicing for me later. She smiled at me that I.. truly was only the recipient of.. the look of love and endearment. I began to reflect on who I was and what I was to become… something that led me to this path of knowledge. I needed to do more research about this earth and the people that lived before me. I wanted to know more. We will survive but we need to grow… I need to know more. Maybe, tomorrow I will look up how to use that exercise machine that’s sitting in the corner of the room like a 1990’s relic.

Don’t let fear dictate your time. Adapt through knowledge and love. Bob.